Thursday, September 21, 2006
Doing attachment now at something-something company. Being an intern in a stat board has its privileges because I wont be easily bullied just because Im an intern. Everything has been good, Ive learnt a lot, met a lot of nice people and my colleagues are great -they have really made me feel welcomed. But its only been over a month so I wont jinx it by saying things are all peaches and cream to early in the game. I still have seven weeks to go. But I still havent adapted to waking up so goddamn early (6am) just to get to work. I guess Im so used to waking up after 9am to go to school that any time earlier than that is just so so unthinkable. hahaha
Ive had an epiphany a week ago. All this while, though I would not admit it to my dearest of friends, Id been hoping he will have a change of heart. To finally realise that we are already so close that its time to take the next step. But no, Herry said it would never happen. Some things just don go the way you want it. So it dawned on me that since we will just be friends, it would be terribly inappropriate for us to remain as close as we are. But this decision to take a step back is literally like pulling my right arm off my body because he is such a big part in my life. He has been there for years, just a call away, everyday he was there. How do you remove someone so intricately woven into your daily life, without feeling like you have got a big hole somewhere in yourself? But it is either this or to let us continue being so close and once he finds a girl, I would probably feel more crestfallen and disconsolate than when I actually ended my past relationships. And that pain, would truly be worst than just detaching myself from him now.
Now I really feel the effects of not having him around. But I must persevere and anyways, Herry is being uncharacteristically supportive.
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