Tuesday, November 21, 2006
a week's past. gosh that's fast. did the week go by in my sleep?
my specialist consult should've been yesterday. but it's been pushed forward til sometime in jan. it could go either way.. the tender abdomen could A) get worst or B)get better. knowing me, which way do you think it'll go? i couldn't care less anyways-
ham called a few days back. again. whoa got another shock. this fella couldn't get a hint if it landed right on his lap. men, pl..if she doesn't reply to your text messages or answer your calls, give up already. make like a tree and leave. *wakakaka* had to say something lame sorrryy..
everyone has asked me what happened. and sorry if i declined to comment. it's just that the thing happened so long ago, i've long moved on and really..what's the point of dwelling on one's past.
but for those who have asked or have been meaning to ask ever since the semester started, i'll blog a little about him. then that's it ok. no more. the fact that the break up didn't leave a tear in my eye has to count for something. love is not love when you can't even feel for someone.
i was with him for about an estimated 13? 14 months?? not really sure as i don't know when we officially broke up. let me clarify ladies and gentlemen, that i'm sure many of those ard me at that point of time knew that i tried several attempts at breaking up but he kept refusing to leave. always more inclined to say sorry..and me the complete nut of an idiot, always giving in. not out of love mind you, out of sheer naive thinking that one can change if given the chance.
in his defence, i must say that when we finally got together in feb'05, the first few months were fun. i remember loving being around him. but things soon started slowly disintegrating. maybe i shouldn't have gone into a relationship knowing i wasn't truly over someone else. but it was such an easy choice. sulk in misery longing for someone i couldn't have or be with someone who wanted to be with me. easy right. yea... easy.
aiyah everything was a mistake la. i should have known. but i stayed. i remember sometime early this year i told myself end it after his tests, and that turned into after his exams, then it was after his competition, after his sister gets better.. you get the picture.
so where was my heart through this all? one word - family.
throughout my relationship with ham, i grew to love my family more and more. transference of love maybe? i've analysed this situation a million times in my head. and i have a million theories to how i survived those months.
don't get me wrong, i'm thankful for having met him and the lessons i learnt from the whole thing.
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